I have just about fucking had it, traditional publishers. You want to know why self-publishing is upping its game? Why you’re making less and less money while more and more authors “betray” you by switching over to Amazon and publishing their own goddamn shit so you can’t skim your fucking humongous cut off the top anymore?
I will fucking tell you: It’s because you’re all fucking pussies.
You want to find The Next Big Thing? Then stop spending 6 and 7 figures on Twilight knockoffs and distilled versions of The Hunger Games set in even less believable shitty future realms than Panem.
“We want something NEW and UNIQUE” you constantly decry in every public sphere available. But as soon as something fucking amazing and weird and hard to categorize lands in your lap, your marketing/publishing/editorial boards start going “whoa, wait, we’ve never seen this before. How will we shelve it in B&N? What books can we compare it to on Amazon to increase traffic? What similar authors can we find to blurb it? There aren’t any! THIS IS TOO HARD, WAHHH” so you fucking cop out and buy another Paranormal Justification for Pedophelia that’s only “unique” feature is to somehow twist yet another notoriously evil, ancient, spine-tingling monster into a hot teenage boy for the MC to fawn over.
Do I sound bitter? Well, I am. It’s impractical for authors to publish traditionally, especially now that print-on-demand and ebooks have advanced so far. But, having browsed the fanfic.net equivalent of the slushpile, I know what the average reader will be facing if trad publishing collapses entirely. Contrary to whatever you’re thinking right now, I’M ON YOUR SIDE, guys. I want publishing to stick around. I want authors to feel that thrill of seeing their book on a shelf in B&N and their deal announced in Publisher’s Lunch, rather than just having their self-designed cover pop up on Amazon like some intangible figment of their imagination.
But you all need to fucking get your act together, or you’ll soon be as obsolete as typewriter manufacturers.
In short: Grow a spine.